Abandonment, Clarity, Connection, Emotions, Excuses, Fear, Gentleness, Heart, Isolation, Loss, Love, Mercury Retrograde, New Moon, Personal responsibility, Puzzles, Reconfiguration, Release, Resurrection, Safety, Self-control, Self-love, Taurus, Uncertainty, Venus
If your life feels anything like mine lately, it’s been a tad intense. The simplest tasks have required an incredible amount of effort…more so than it seems they should. It’s taking longer to accomplish anything than I think it should, or than it has in the past, and after completing only one or two items on my list I’m ready for a very, very long nap.
Additionally, I’m feeling a lot of emotions…intensely and sometimes in a blender…all muddled up so that I’m not entirely certain what I’m feeling…just that I’m feeling something and it’s really really strong. And those strong emotions happen in the oddest of moments…something very insignificant and small brings up all kinds of crap that seems to be unrelated to the situation at hand, and I have, on occasion, found myself feeling foolish and embarrassed afterwards, uncertain exactly as to what just happened.
Some clients of mine are feeling something a bit different. They’re experiencing a profoundly deep sense of loss, abandonment, fear, and uncertainty. There is a sense of not knowing where they’re going or what to do next, and a sense of isolation that is causing them to want to reach out and connect with others in an almost desperate way…sometimes even to people they know aren’t the best for them, but the desire to be with them is almost overwhelming.
Still others I’ve observed are feeling unsafe because they don’t know what’s going on…just that something is happening and that they can’t control it or stop it or change it, so they feel as though their entire life is spiraling out of control. In response, they seek to control their outer world as much as possible, hoping that it will alleviate the internal cyclone that is raging. These same people are also experiencing an opportunity to increase personal responsibility through accountability, but are resisting it because it feels unsafe. To be held accountable for something equates to being corrected, which equates to being disciplined, which equates to being punished, which means (to them) that they are a bad person. Therefore, because they receive the message that they are a bad person, it then is translated to mean that they are either not good enough or not loveable. So, they resist and defend and excuse their attitudes or words or behavior because it’s unsafe to admit the truth.
In working with my clients, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern that beautifully describes and/or explains the process that is generating these experiences. It’s related to this theme of Resurrection, as well as the theme that will be present for this next moon cycle…puzzle pieces.
We’ve each created a life for ourselves using puzzle pieces that we’ve collected along the path of life or lives. The resulting picture is one that has guided us or defined us and has been helpful and beneficial for us…until now. Over the past year it has become increasingly clear that this picture we have used is no longer as useful or effective as it once was, and in the past six weeks we have been handed a new picture for our puzzle…using the same pieces but in a different configuration.
This new configuration will have gaps…because it’s a bigger picture with room for new ideas, new adventures, new people, new projects, and new potentials. In time, the gaps will fill, and the new picture will make sense, but at the moment it doesn’t. This is because in this moment all the pieces are disconnected from one other so that they can be put together in a new way. In this disconnected state, there is no reference point from which an individual piece can identify itself because the new picture orientation hasn’t fully completed. And, it may not fully complete before the pieces begin to come together again, resulting in a feeling of uncertainty, disorientation, confusion, and panic as we wait for clarity.
This, then, is the key…the theme for this cycle…waiting…with Love.
This is not a passive waiting, nor is the Love an external love. The Love is an unconditional self-directed Love that we actively practice daily…or hourly…or breath-ly. It will require slowing down, accomplishing less within each day, and giving ourselves permission to let that be ok. It will require holding a space of compassion for ourselves and our limitations during this time, accepting these limitations and letting those limitations be ok. It will require an adjustment of our thoughts towards ourselves, and saying affirmations of love and support toward ourselves so that our limitations are not entangled definitions of our worthiness, or lack of worthiness, of love. It will require a daily practice of some kind of act of kindness or love towards ourselves…such as a salt bath or a massage or dancing or reading a favorite book or doing your nails or getting a hair cut or taking a vacation or taking a nap or cancelling an appointment. Whatever someone does or says or gives to you that evokes a sense of love within, do for yourself. Create that feeling within, so that there is no dependence on another to provide that feeling for you…because, let’s be honest, right now, with this energetic configuration, you might not be able to depend on anyone giving you what you need…except yourself.
This is all being played out astrologically as well. This new moon is in Taurus, an earth sign, and a sign of personal security and luxury and wealth. Taurus wants material comfort and will work patiently and diligently to achieve it. It is also a sign of sensuality and pleasure, it’s ruling planet being Venus, the goddess of love in all its forms. So, by focusing on the things that bring you pleasure, you will be magnifying Love in your life and elevating your mood and frequency above the muddled confusion of this restructuring time.
Additionally, Venus is currently in Cancer, a water sign, ruled by the moon. This particular water sign deals with the emotions of the home life, signifying the potentials for long-standing issues at home to come to the surface for healing and growth. Mercury will also begin its retrograde motion during this time, offering many opportunities for slowing down and choosing words carefully when communicating with loved ones…especially towards yourself.
As with all Mercury retrogrades, take the time to slow down and adjust your timing mechanisms so that you can easily flow through these next three weeks. Stay present and go within in order to maximize the benefits that this space has to offer you. And, be aware that there are many around you who won’t be doing this, so be particularly careful while driving, speak slowly and softly, and avoid unnecessary stimulation as emotions will be running high in others not practicing self-love.
Things will balance out again in mid-June, so take heart and keep going. Each breath is an opportunity to try again…to love again…to practice again…to release and heal and evolve…resurrecting from the ashes…building a new picture piece by piece.
May we create the Love we seek, holding it on ourselves, for ourselves, and reflecting our fullness into our outer world…with gentleness and ease.
And so it is.