New Moon in Taurus

Tags

Abandonment, Clarity, Connection, Emotions, Excuses, Fear, Gentleness, Heart, Isolation, Loss, Love, Mercury Retrograde, New Moon, Personal responsibility, Puzzles, Reconfiguration, Release, Resurrection, Safety, Self-control, Self-love, Taurus, Uncertainty, Venus

© Sarah Fretwell

If your life feels anything like mine lately, it’s been a tad intense. The simplest tasks have required an incredible amount of effort…more so than it seems they should. It’s taking longer to accomplish anything than I think it should, or than it has in the past, and after completing only one or two items on my list I’m ready for a very, very long nap.

Additionally, I’m feeling a lot of emotions…intensely and sometimes in a blender…all muddled up so that I’m not entirely certain what I’m feeling…just that I’m feeling something and it’s really really strong. And those strong emotions happen in the oddest of moments…something very insignificant and small brings up all kinds of crap that seems to be unrelated to the situation at hand, and I have, on occasion, found myself feeling foolish and embarrassed afterwards, uncertain exactly as to what just happened.

Some clients of mine are feeling something a bit different. They’re experiencing a profoundly deep sense of loss, abandonment, fear, and uncertainty. There is a sense of not knowing where they’re going or what to do next, and a sense of isolation that is causing them to want to reach out and connect with others in an almost desperate way…sometimes even to people they know aren’t the best for them, but the desire to be with them is almost overwhelming.

Still others I’ve observed are feeling unsafe because they don’t know what’s going on…just that something is happening and that they can’t control it or stop it or change it, so they feel as though their entire life is spiraling out of control. In response, they seek to control their outer world as much as possible, hoping that it will alleviate the internal cyclone that is raging. These same people are also experiencing an opportunity to increase personal responsibility through accountability, but are resisting it because it feels unsafe. To be held accountable for something equates to being corrected, which equates to being disciplined, which equates to being punished, which means (to them) that they are a bad person. Therefore, because they receive the message that they are a bad person, it then is translated to mean that they are either not good enough or not loveable. So, they resist and defend and excuse their attitudes or words or behavior because it’s unsafe to admit the truth.

In working with my clients, I’ve noticed an interesting pattern that beautifully describes and/or explains the process that is generating these experiences. It’s related to this theme of Resurrection, as well as the theme that will be present for this next moon cycle…puzzle pieces.

We’ve each created a life for ourselves using puzzle pieces that we’ve collected along the path of life or lives. The resulting picture is one that has guided us or defined us and has been helpful and beneficial for us…until now. Over the past year it has become increasingly clear that this picture we have used is no longer as useful or effective as it once was, and in the past six weeks we have been handed a new picture for our puzzle…using the same pieces but in a different configuration.

This new configuration will have gaps…because it’s a bigger picture with room for new ideas, new adventures, new people, new projects, and new potentials. In time, the gaps will fill, and the new picture will make sense, but at the moment it doesn’t. This is because in this moment all the pieces are disconnected from one other so that they can be put together in a new way. In this disconnected state, there is no reference point from which an individual piece can identify itself because the new picture orientation hasn’t fully completed. And, it may not fully complete before the pieces begin to come together again, resulting in a feeling of uncertainty, disorientation, confusion, and panic as we wait for clarity.

This, then, is the key…the theme for this cycle…waiting…with Love.

This is not a passive waiting, nor is the Love an external love. The Love is an unconditional self-directed Love that we actively practice daily…or hourly…or breath-ly. It will require slowing down, accomplishing less within each day, and giving ourselves permission to let that be ok. It will require holding a space of compassion for ourselves and our limitations during this time, accepting these limitations and letting those limitations be ok. It will require an adjustment of our thoughts towards ourselves, and saying affirmations of love and support toward ourselves so that our limitations are not entangled definitions of our worthiness, or lack of worthiness, of love. It will require a daily practice of some kind of act of kindness or love towards ourselves…such as a salt bath or a massage or dancing or reading a favorite book or doing your nails or getting a hair cut or taking a vacation or taking a nap or cancelling an appointment. Whatever someone does or says or gives to you that evokes a sense of love within, do for yourself. Create that feeling within, so that there is no dependence on another to provide that feeling for you…because, let’s be honest, right now, with this energetic configuration, you might not be able to depend on anyone giving you what you need…except yourself.

This is all being played out astrologically as well. This new moon is in Taurus, an earth sign, and a sign of personal security and luxury and wealth. Taurus wants material comfort and will work patiently and diligently to achieve it. It is also a sign of sensuality and pleasure, it’s ruling planet being Venus, the goddess of love in all its forms. So, by focusing on the things that bring you pleasure, you will be magnifying Love in your life and elevating your mood and frequency above the muddled confusion of this restructuring time.

Additionally, Venus is currently in Cancer, a water sign, ruled by the moon. This particular water sign deals with the emotions of the home life, signifying the potentials for long-standing issues at home to come to the surface for healing and growth. Mercury will also begin its retrograde motion during this time, offering many opportunities for slowing down and choosing words carefully when communicating with loved ones…especially towards yourself.

As with all Mercury retrogrades, take the time to slow down and adjust your timing mechanisms so that you can easily flow through these next three weeks. Stay present and go within in order to maximize the benefits that this space has to offer you. And, be aware that there are many around you who won’t be doing this, so be particularly careful while driving, speak slowly and softly, and avoid unnecessary stimulation as emotions will be running high in others not practicing self-love.

Things will balance out again in mid-June, so take heart and keep going. Each breath is an opportunity to try again…to love again…to practice again…to release and heal and evolve…resurrecting from the ashes…building a new picture piece by piece.

May we create the Love we seek, holding it on ourselves, for ourselves, and reflecting our fullness into our outer world…with gentleness and ease.

And so it is.

~Gysela

Shedding the Armor

Tags

Anger, Armor, Challenging relationships, Collaboration, Completion, Confrontation, Fighting, Fury, Incarnations, Injustice, Isolation, Mercury Retrograde, Mission Accomplished, Mission Impossible, Peace, Pleasure, Reflection, Release, Remembering, Revealing the essence, Roles, Shedding, Warrior

Warrior girl. Artist unknown.

What happens when a job has been completed…when a task has been accomplished…when victory has been achieved? Do you remember the day after a project was complete…or the day after graduation…or the day after an engagement or wedding…or the day after a competition? What did you experience? For me, these moments of deep accomplishment and exhilarating achievements are followed by a period of disorientation…a time of let-down…a sense of listlessness or lacking a direction or purpose in life. And, it takes some time to find a sense of balance and regeneration as a new orientation forms.

But, what if a person doesn’t know what the original goal has been…or even if the task has been completed. How can a person know if this goal has been accomplished…who decides that such a thing has happened and that it’s time to change course? What happens if the entire life of a person has been devoted to a task or achievement…and then the goal is reached. Then what?

This week, as I explored the sense of pleasure and what it meant to follow that impulse in all aspects of my life, some rather startling, and initially disturbing, understandings came through to me. It took a few days for the entire concept to download, and this is what I saw, experienced, and was taught.

There is a group of souls that were asked to come to the planet over the last 50 years. Some were asked to come in a bit sooner than that, but the vast majority of this group are now between the ages of 30 and 40 years of age. Some of this group were not only asked to come…some were commissioned…sometimes rather strongly. Some of us absolutely did not want to come and were quite angry about this task we were given. So, for some in this group, there is an underlying rage…a fury that informs the perceptions of life and the purpose for being on the planet. Ultimately, we are a group of warriors fighting the injustices that we perceive in society and in the world at large.

Warriors come in many different shapes and sizes and temperaments. Some are cunning and stealthy, some are blunt and confrontational, some seek to work within a system, some leave the systems altogether. All seek change, transformation, honesty, and integrity. In fact, the commitment to those values is so strong that we often find ourselves speaking up or acting out even when we wish to keep silent or blend into the background. As a result, we have often isolated ourselves from others…pushing others away by terminating relationships or refusing to work within constructs that others force upon us. And, the more we try to conform and please, the more suffocated and lost we become…until we have to speak out and break free in strong and dramatic ways…often, again, alienating ourselves from others and society.

We as a group have often been confused as to why we do and behave in such ways. We not only feel misunderstood by our peers and society, we also feel misunderstood by ourselves. We cannot explain why we do or say what we do…only that we are compelled by a force stronger than ourselves and a passion deeper than any outward expression can describe. It has been a lonely existence and not a little frustrating. For some, it’s been too overwhelming and they have chosen to leave. For others there is a dogged determination to keep going…foolishly, it sometimes seems.

For us, the idea of pursuing a life of pleasure is ridiculous. We have been driven by something that hasn’t allowed for pleasure to be that important to us, for pleasure and fury aren’t exactly the best of bedfellows. So when I received the instruction to follow the pleasure, I felt more than a little clumsy and awkward in my attempts. That feeling has not abated, and I’m quite sure it will take a bit of time to remember how to live this way, for that’s what we as a group are being asked to do…remember. And yet, as I begin to explore this new way, a sense of relief is beginning to take hold…an understanding of how taxing this furious way of life has been is beginning to unfold.

For, our purpose in this lifetime was to take on the role of the ages…to be a warrior against injustice, complacency, status quo, compliance without thought. These roles did not come naturally to us…yet we were experienced enough in the energies of this planet and in the strength of our commitment to fully allow ourselves to become the roles assigned to us. In a sense, we are the Mission Impossible task force…even if some of us didn’t have the option to accept or deny the mission. The job was too important to give to just anyone. The planet needed the skills we had cultivated over many many lifetimes. So, we prepared for the mission.

As we prepared and saw what our personalities and astrological energies would entail, I saw many looking at each other with large eyes, significant hesitance, and concern on the faces.

Someone commented, “Wow. That’s intense. Will we survive?”

The answer was, “You must.”

Not a few of us gulped, realizing the seriousness of the situation and the task at hand.

Then someone asked, “What if we succeed? What if we succeed so well in taking on these identities that we forget who we really are after we finish the task?”

The answer was, “We will help you remember. We will help you shed the armor so you can shine your true light for the second part of your mission. However. The second part cannot happen if you do not accomplish the first part. Always keep your eyes on the goal in front of you. Stay present and just take the next step.”

When I was faced with the startling and disturbing revelation, I initially felt ashamed and embarrassed by my extreme behavior and the way I have conducted my life up to this point. It took a while for me to be able to receive the compassion and love around that jolt of information…to recognize and understand that it had a purpose.

“What was the purpose? I have forgotten.”

“The purpose was to wake people up…to shine light in areas of darkness…to remind people of their souls and ways of living that they have forgotten. We did not allow you to forget so that you could remind others.”

“Why did it have to be so dramatic and harsh? Why so isolating?”

“Because there was so little time and so much to accomplish in that time, we needed people who could see clearly…who were detached enough from society to see through the lies and deception and facades in order to tell others.”

I was silent as I reviewed my life with my guides as they showed me key moments and movements and some purposes of sequences.

Then I quietly asked, “Did we do it? Did we succeed? Was it worth it?”

The answer resounded throughout my being, “YES! To all the questions. Thank you for your sacrifice and commitment and dedication to such a difficult task. We honor you all.”

I felt waves of love and tears wash over me…a deep and profound sense of relief…an almost unbelief that it was true…that it was over.

As I stood there, in the energetic embrace of my guides and soul family and many other appreciative souls, I asked shakily, “Now what?”

“Now, you heal. Now you shed that role you took on…that armor…that warrior energy. It is no longer appropriate.”

“But, there is still so much injustice! There is still so much wrong in the world! You want me to just walk away from it all and not speak out?! I’m finally getting to a place where I can make a difference…you want me to just walk away from all that I have worked so hard to achieve?”

“No…just in the approach. Remember…as above, so below…as within, without. Send your passionate responses up to the higher realms. Allow the work to take place there where change happens easily. Then the change can gently filter down to this dimension in a way where individuals take responsibility for themselves willingly. Now your only job is to remember that you are love…you are joy…you are ecstasy…you are peace…you are pleasure. Follow that within in this dimension and watch it reflect to you in exponential ways.”

Shedding the armor will take time as it’s a pattern and a habit…a way of being and relating in this dimension. For some of us, we may not know how to connect with others intimately or healthfully…we are used to movement and change. A gentler way of life is foreign and may be more frightening to us than the challenges we faced already. And yet, this is who we really are. During this Mercury Retrograde our task will be to release the imbalanced masculine facade and role we played so that we can remember our true natures of teaching through doing, not speaking…of bringing change by example, not lectures or soap boxes or divisive activist tactics.

This is our next task…the second part of our assignment…no longer warriors to shield, attack, and defend. Shed the armor…and let the light and pleasure guide your next steps.

And so it is.

~Gysela

Redefining Identity

Tags

Adventure, Aspects of Self, Disassociation, Empowerment, Identity, Isolation, Loneliness, Loss, New Zealand, Pain, Perspective, Repatriation, Separateness, Stories, Strength, Suffering, Third-Culture Kid, Transformation, United States, Unity, Victimness, Wholeness

I don’t remember the moment I stepped off of the plane on U.S. soil when we moved back to the U.S. I don’t even remember everything that we did in the first few months. But I still vividly remember how I felt…utterly and completely lost and alone. I’ve since described it in these words: Somewhere over the Atlantic my old self vanished and a new, unknown person appeared…with 18 years of memories no one around me experienced.

I have always thought of this transition period in my life from the perspective of a victim. I didn’t want to move “back” to the U.S. because it wasn’t home to me and I didn’t like the culture and didn’t know how to relate to anyone in my “home” culture. I was forced to move “back” because my parents moved us. I was forced to leave everyone and everything I loved for the sake of being where my passport told me I belonged. And, I never knew if I would ever be able to go back.

Learning to live in the American culture was rough. I don’t think I know how to describe the pain I experienced. Thankfully, I remember very little of my first three years here…mostly I was just trying to survive and figure out the basics of living and being in a “foreign” country. I do know the pain from this was overwhelming because even 20 years later my heart has tender spots from the few memories I do have.

I don’t like having these perceptions…this victim story around my past, even if some of it is warranted. To me, holding onto those stories takes away my power to live and embrace life. The challenge, however, is finding a substantial enough story to replace the victim ones.

And today I was blessed with one.

Today, as I watched House Hunters International, I heard a woman say this, “I knew who Grace was in New York City, but I didn’t know who Grace was in New Zealand.”

What astonished me most about this statement is that she didn’t disassociate the New York City Grace from the New Zealand Grace…she simply discovered new aspects and perspectives of Grace as her environment changed…which resulted in a deeper understanding of her bigger Self, empowering her even more.

Once again, the old favorite story of either/or isn’t true…the true story is and.

And so it is.

~Gysela

 

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Increasing Personal Responsibility and Integrity

Tags

Alignment, Bullying, Choice, Clarity, Compassion, Courage, Evolutionary process, Fear, Gratitude, Hesitating, Inner power, Inner truth, Inner wisdom, Integrity, Isolation, Moral code, Moving forward, Painful consequences, Personal responsibility, Ridicule, Self-love, Teasing, Will

by Oliver Pieturn

Hesitating.

We’ve all experienced it…it’s one of the gifts to humanity, this moment…the choice. Do I or don’t I? Which way should I go? What should I do? Which is the best way? Which way will give me the results I want? Which way is the easiest way?

Hidden in this hesitating moment is a priceless gem…the gem of integrity. In this moment, everyone has the opportunity to evaluate the situation through the lens of his/her moral compass and choose. I’m not speaking about a moral code that is taught to you through a religion or spiritual practice. I’m talking about that inner voice…that place inside you that tells you what is right and what is wrong…that knowing-ness that what you are about to say or do is or is not in alignment with your inner truth.

This moment of hesitation is that moment when each of us chooses to either listen to that inner truth and act harmoniously with it or not. And yet, it’s not so simple. It also requires us to admit that we are choosing one way or the other…we’re not just victims of our circumstances. There are options even if we don’t like admitting that they are there. To admit that we are choosing requires courage, because we are taking responsibility for this choice and our circumstances. We aren’t blaming someone else for putting us in the situation…we aren’t expecting someone else to rescue us by fixing it for us. We are acknowledging that we are choosing one way or the other.

This alone is a huge step in a person’s spiritual evolutionary process. Most of humanity is not yet even aware of the many opportunities it has to make this choice. Most people simply coast through their lives on a pre-programmed existence which currently includes blame and victimness and helplessness. So, anytime someone recognizes that he/she has this choice to make and acknowledges it, I rejoice.

Taking this rejoicing a step further, choosing to act or speak in alignment with our inner wisdom and knowing-ness is something that brings tears to my eyes. In the current climate such choices are really really really hard to do. No matter how many times one does it the choice never gets easier…oftentimes it gets harder. Why? Because making this kind of choice is often alienating and unpopular. Those who make these choices are often ridiculed and mocked and bullied for being true to themselves. Many people shy away from associating with such radicals because they fear being exposed as frauds in their choices and having to admit that they do have an option to choose.

So, it’s perfectly understandable that if you’ve lived any particular length of time, you will hesitate whenever a choice presents itself to you. It’s also perfectly understandable to try to find the bending point…how much can I compromise without completely abandoning my integrity? And, it’s perfectly understandable that sometimes we bend so much that we end up in knots.

If you are finding yourself confronted with situations that can no longer continue as they are, you may find yourself in this moment of hesitancy…confused and frozen and uncertain as to what to do…particularly if the outcome is a complete mystery. If this is the case, use this space to offer a few things to yourself:

1. Give yourself the gift of self-love and compassion. Recognize and acknowledge that this is hard and that it’s ok that it’s hard. Love yourself for all the moments when you didn’t choose in alignment with your inner wisdom, for those situations taught you many things. Love yourself also for the moments when you did choose in alignment with your inner wisdom…even if you experienced painful repercussions. These too taught you many things, and no matter what, you are still loved and worthy of love.

2. Express gratitude for the beautiful and complex life that we get to experience! No matter what anyone tells you or teaches you, the only true guidebook for your life resides within you. It’s not easy, nor is it simple. It’s not suppose to be. It’s suppose to be messy. So embrace it!

3. Find that thread of courage in your gut…that memory of a time when you acted or spoke in alignment with your truth and you have no apologies for it. Ask your team to find that thread as well and amplify it within their Divine Lines…reflecting it to your Higher Self. Also that thread of courage to grow within your Divine Line, pulling all your courage off of everyone and everything in all dimensions, incarnations, and lifetimes into this present breath of now. Invite your body deva to do the same.

4. Ask your team to demonstrate how to connect more deeply with their inner wisdom and truth, aligning their soul with their wills…committing to it fully and completely. Ask them to amplify this connection and commitment to you at the level of your Higher Self. Invite your body deva to do the same.

5. Then ask that your team model to you, at the level of your Higher Self, an increase in personal responsibility, energetic integrity, and inner support. Allow that shift to flow down your Divine Line into you in this dimension. Invite it to amplify as much as is needed. Invite your body deva to do the same.

6. When all is aligned, open to receive the clarity and information you need in order to make the decision. When you receive it, trust it and express gratitude and move forward unhesitatingly, knowing that you have the support and assistance and love of the Universe/Divinity only a heartbeat away.

We ask that all your reference points, all ways of being, perceiving and being perceived are updated. We ask that you are wrapped in sheets of rainbow light, gently sealing in these vibrations to whatever degree is appropriate to your spiritual evolutionary state. We are in deep gratitude to the angelic realms for serving and assisting us in every breath and in every way. We are in deep gratitude to you for the courage you carry in your heart for as you live and shift in the world, humanity shifts with you.

And so it is.

~Gysela