Have you ever been in a supermarket and watched as a two-year-old has a complete melt-down because he/she was told no? What about seeing a teenager pout and stomp and slam doors for the same reason? Or someone at work or in your personal life didn’t get his/her way and made it very known the he/she was quite put out. Maybe you remember being that person struggling to accept someone’s no…or maybe you were the parent or person saying no. Either way, chances are that anger flared as boundaries were held.
Anger is a wonderful gift because it shows us where our boundaries are and when they have been violated. It’s similar to the sensation of pain on the skin when water is too hot or too cold…without the pain we wouldn’t know when to stop. Anger helps us know that something needs to stop or change.
One amazing process we are experiencing in this potent energy time is the process of releasing those things that no longer serve our greatest happiness. As we release these patterns and behaviors and thoughts and beliefs, we become aware of a new option…or many new options…where once there was only one. We become aware of ourselves in new ways and in new dimensions and we remember more of who we truly are. Every time that happens, our boundaries shift.
Of course, when our boundaries shift, all of our relationships are affected. If people have known us for a long time, they may suddenly feel as though they don’t know us at all. They may even wonder if they ever knew us we have changed so much. In truth, we may feel as though we don’t know who we are either, the changes can be so great.
So how do we learn about where these new boundaries are without losing ourselves to anger, pouting, temper tantrums, slamming doors, yelling, and many other more challenging responses? We start by loving ourselves from an ego-less, compassionate place.
This is not an over-night process…this is a several months or several years process depending on your level of self-awareness and self-honesty. So, be patient with yourself…all that exists within you has a purpose. Honor that and work with it, avoiding any comparison to anyone else.
When an ego-less, compassionate space is created by ourselves for ourselves, we enter into a beautiful, peace-filled, joy-filled tenderness. Gentleness abounds. Allowing and flow naturally occur. Knots loosen, rigidity lessens, relaxation increases. Connection to Source and our Higher Selves deepens and we become more aware of ourselves, our hearts, and our potentials.
As we spend more and more time in this ego-less, compassionate space of self-love, we create new habits and patterns of thinking and behaving. Our responses toward ourselves are less violent, remembering that we are beautiful, valuable, loveable beings, worthy of gentleness and tenderness in all things.
And then a beautiful thing happens…we feel a slight shift in comfort when a situation turns. It doesn’t have to be a huge shift…just a slight change in direction. It might be a conversation turns slightly, or an attitude adjusts one or two degrees, or a person’s body makes the tiniest of moves. These little, seemingly imperceptible adjustments now are noticeable because they aren’t in alignment with our sweet space of harmony and love that we have created for ourselves.
These moments are beautiful because we can take a moment to express incredible amounts of gratitude…gratitude for recognizing the shift that could lead to emotional reactions and triggers…gratitude for the growth and change in ourselves so that an old pattern no longer has to play out…gratitude for an opportunity to address the situation before the emotions engage…gratitude for seeing so clearly this new boundary that can now protect us from pain…gratitude for an opportunity to practice a new way of being and living in harmony and love with our soul…and best of all, gratitude for living in such a state of love that this sweet space is our new normal.
And so it is.