Awareness, Communication, Compassion, Connection, Cool-headedness, Cycles, Emotional outbursts, Emotional Sensitivity, Expression, Feminine, Hormonal Shifts, Integrity, Intimacy, Linear Thought, Masculine, Passion, Patience, Rhythms, Ruling with the Head, Ruling with the Heart, Understanding
We are now well into the energy of Cancer, a water sign ruled by the moon. As such, this is a deeply personal time filled with strong emotions about the self, the inner life, and the space we call “home.” This is a deeply feminine time, and a time to go within first before attempting to connect with others. However, that may not be our first response to the emotions we experience…and this first response may result in results that are disappointing.
In working with a client this last week, we discussed the issue of hormonal shifts within people. Some people experience strong hormonal shifts, others not so much…or at least not that is easily evident on the outside. Both men and women experience these hormonal shifts, however, society tends to stigmatize this rhythm of life…particularly in regards to women and their bleeding cycles.
My client expressed frustration at the very familiar situation in which her boyfriend seemed to dismissed her emotional outburst as simply being the result of a hormonal flux. “He thinks that just because I don’t respond this way to the same situation at any other time in my cycle that it isn’t an issue…but it is. I just have more time to choose my response at other times.”
As I looked deeper into the situation and pattern that we all must work with, this is the message that came through:
Throughout a moon cycle, there are times when the head rules, when the head and heart rule together, and when the heart rules.
When the head rules, the heart is distant, and accessing, understanding, and expressing the emotional responses and feelings one has over various situations can be rather difficult. It is in these times that the head responds, resulting in a cooler, detached experience. For those who are intellectually and academically stimulated, this can be a wonderful time to connect with your friends, coworkers, and partners as well as conduct research, looking for patterns and trends. It is a very masculine time…dry and light, supporting more surface conversations, quick decisions, and hasty words. However, this particular connection will take some time to cultivate, requiring revisions, as the emotions will take their time to enter into the conversations. If you are unaware of your emotions and feelings around a particular situation, they may surprise you later when they surface…you may have thought the situation was resolved and complete until you can access the complexities of the heart’s involvement in the situation.
When the heart rules, the head is distant, and accessing, understanding, and expressing the linear responses can be rather difficult. It is in these times that the heart responds, resulting in a more passionate experience. It is a very feminine time…wet and dark, supporting deeper conversations, slower decisions, and longer considerations. However, this particular connection will require patience and compassion for if one can access words during this time, the words themselves may also be hasty…but they will be filled with deep emotions, resulting in a punch felt much more strongly than any other time in the human rhythm.
When interacting with a person on an intimate level, understanding these rhythms will help to create a space of acceptance and deeper connection. It is not that a woman responds unreasonably to something at one point in her cycle over another. Rather, when the head rules, it’s harder for her to access the complexities of her feelings about the situation until much later. This space of time ruled by the heart is a beautiful time and one to be celebrated by lovers. This impassioned expression is when the clearest truth, deepest vulnerability, and strongest connection is possible. The greatest capacity for integrity is available at this time.
Learn to communicate in non-verbal ways during this time. Create art or music or food or any other expressive project as a means to express one’s self and create connection with your partner, for this form of connection will be based on the heart…a foundation on which all other connection and communication will hinge…resulting in ever deepening intimacy through the next cycle, even during the head-ruling time.
Be well…Love well…Communicate well.
~And so it is.