Warrior girl. Artist unknown.
What happens when a job has been completed…when a task has been accomplished…when victory has been achieved? Do you remember the day after a project was complete…or the day after graduation…or the day after an engagement or wedding…or the day after a competition? What did you experience? For me, these moments of deep accomplishment and exhilarating achievements are followed by a period of disorientation…a time of let-down…a sense of listlessness or lacking a direction or purpose in life. And, it takes some time to find a sense of balance and regeneration as a new orientation forms.
But, what if a person doesn’t know what the original goal has been…or even if the task has been completed. How can a person know if this goal has been accomplished…who decides that such a thing has happened and that it’s time to change course? What happens if the entire life of a person has been devoted to a task or achievement…and then the goal is reached. Then what?
This week, as I explored the sense of pleasure and what it meant to follow that impulse in all aspects of my life, some rather startling, and initially disturbing, understandings came through to me. It took a few days for the entire concept to download, and this is what I saw, experienced, and was taught.
There is a group of souls that were asked to come to the planet over the last 50 years. Some were asked to come in a bit sooner than that, but the vast majority of this group are now between the ages of 30 and 40 years of age. Some of this group were not only asked to come…some were commissioned…sometimes rather strongly. Some of us absolutely did not want to come and were quite angry about this task we were given. So, for some in this group, there is an underlying rage…a fury that informs the perceptions of life and the purpose for being on the planet. Ultimately, we are a group of warriors fighting the injustices that we perceive in society and in the world at large.
Warriors come in many different shapes and sizes and temperaments. Some are cunning and stealthy, some are blunt and confrontational, some seek to work within a system, some leave the systems altogether. All seek change, transformation, honesty, and integrity. In fact, the commitment to those values is so strong that we often find ourselves speaking up or acting out even when we wish to keep silent or blend into the background. As a result, we have often isolated ourselves from others…pushing others away by terminating relationships or refusing to work within constructs that others force upon us. And, the more we try to conform and please, the more suffocated and lost we become…until we have to speak out and break free in strong and dramatic ways…often, again, alienating ourselves from others and society.
We as a group have often been confused as to why we do and behave in such ways. We not only feel misunderstood by our peers and society, we also feel misunderstood by ourselves. We cannot explain why we do or say what we do…only that we are compelled by a force stronger than ourselves and a passion deeper than any outward expression can describe. It has been a lonely existence and not a little frustrating. For some, it’s been too overwhelming and they have chosen to leave. For others there is a dogged determination to keep going…foolishly, it sometimes seems.
For us, the idea of pursuing a life of pleasure is ridiculous. We have been driven by something that hasn’t allowed for pleasure to be that important to us, for pleasure and fury aren’t exactly the best of bedfellows. So when I received the instruction to follow the pleasure, I felt more than a little clumsy and awkward in my attempts. That feeling has not abated, and I’m quite sure it will take a bit of time to remember how to live this way, for that’s what we as a group are being asked to do…remember. And yet, as I begin to explore this new way, a sense of relief is beginning to take hold…an understanding of how taxing this furious way of life has been is beginning to unfold.
For, our purpose in this lifetime was to take on the role of the ages…to be a warrior against injustice, complacency, status quo, compliance without thought. These roles did not come naturally to us…yet we were experienced enough in the energies of this planet and in the strength of our commitment to fully allow ourselves to become the roles assigned to us. In a sense, we are the Mission Impossible task force…even if some of us didn’t have the option to accept or deny the mission. The job was too important to give to just anyone. The planet needed the skills we had cultivated over many many lifetimes. So, we prepared for the mission.
As we prepared and saw what our personalities and astrological energies would entail, I saw many looking at each other with large eyes, significant hesitance, and concern on the faces.
Someone commented, “Wow. That’s intense. Will we survive?”
The answer was, “You must.”
Not a few of us gulped, realizing the seriousness of the situation and the task at hand.
Then someone asked, “What if we succeed? What if we succeed so well in taking on these identities that we forget who we really are after we finish the task?”
The answer was, “We will help you remember. We will help you shed the armor so you can shine your true light for the second part of your mission. However. The second part cannot happen if you do not accomplish the first part. Always keep your eyes on the goal in front of you. Stay present and just take the next step.”
When I was faced with the startling and disturbing revelation, I initially felt ashamed and embarrassed by my extreme behavior and the way I have conducted my life up to this point. It took a while for me to be able to receive the compassion and love around that jolt of information…to recognize and understand that it had a purpose.
“What was the purpose? I have forgotten.”
“The purpose was to wake people up…to shine light in areas of darkness…to remind people of their souls and ways of living that they have forgotten. We did not allow you to forget so that you could remind others.”
“Why did it have to be so dramatic and harsh? Why so isolating?”
“Because there was so little time and so much to accomplish in that time, we needed people who could see clearly…who were detached enough from society to see through the lies and deception and facades in order to tell others.”
I was silent as I reviewed my life with my guides as they showed me key moments and movements and some purposes of sequences.
Then I quietly asked, “Did we do it? Did we succeed? Was it worth it?”
The answer resounded throughout my being, “YES! To all the questions. Thank you for your sacrifice and commitment and dedication to such a difficult task. We honor you all.”
I felt waves of love and tears wash over me…a deep and profound sense of relief…an almost unbelief that it was true…that it was over.
As I stood there, in the energetic embrace of my guides and soul family and many other appreciative souls, I asked shakily, “Now what?”
“Now, you heal. Now you shed that role you took on…that armor…that warrior energy. It is no longer appropriate.”
“But, there is still so much injustice! There is still so much wrong in the world! You want me to just walk away from it all and not speak out?! I’m finally getting to a place where I can make a difference…you want me to just walk away from all that I have worked so hard to achieve?”
“No…just in the approach. Remember…as above, so below…as within, without. Send your passionate responses up to the higher realms. Allow the work to take place there where change happens easily. Then the change can gently filter down to this dimension in a way where individuals take responsibility for themselves willingly. Now your only job is to remember that you are love…you are joy…you are ecstasy…you are peace…you are pleasure. Follow that within in this dimension and watch it reflect to you in exponential ways.”
Shedding the armor will take time as it’s a pattern and a habit…a way of being and relating in this dimension. For some of us, we may not know how to connect with others intimately or healthfully…we are used to movement and change. A gentler way of life is foreign and may be more frightening to us than the challenges we faced already. And yet, this is who we really are. During this Mercury Retrograde our task will be to release the imbalanced masculine facade and role we played so that we can remember our true natures of teaching through doing, not speaking…of bringing change by example, not lectures or soap boxes or divisive activist tactics.
This is our next task…the second part of our assignment…no longer warriors to shield, attack, and defend. Shed the armor…and let the light and pleasure guide your next steps.
And so it is.