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by Louise Jakobsen

by Louise Jakobsen

As the old grids of fear, lack, domination, control, and exclusivity crumble away, those who have much to lose will put up a fight. Hidden practices and policies and knowledge will be revealed and everyone will be appalled…those who hid them will be appalled that they can no longer continue in their familiar ways, and those who were subject to the hidden practices will be appalled that they were so dismissed and treated with so little consideration.

And this is where an interesting phenomenon will occur…that is already beginning to occur. Intolerance will skyrocket. Yet, this is not an intolerance with which we are so familiar…an intolerance of differences. This intolerance will be one that addresses integrity and personal responsibility…in relationships, in government, in institutions, systems, society, and mass consciousness.

This intolerance will show up in the most surprising of situations. It may be as personal and quiet as one deciding that he/she can no longer tolerate eating fried food. Or, it could be that one becomes intolerant of addictive behaviors. Or, it could be that one becomes intolerant of societal norms that oppress others. Or, it could be that one becomes intolerant of interactive patterns between him/herself and others. Regardless of the area of intolerance, there is going to be an interesting result: People will start to speak up.

The shyest, the most timid, the fearful, the one who thinks no one will listen, you will speak up too…and surprise yourself with the amount of passion that is behind your words and the truth that rings through them. This speaking up is because people are moving into greater degrees of alignment within themselves. As people move into greater degrees of inner integrity, their standards, ethics, and values also shift to reflect that internal alignment. When this inner alignment becomes valued by the person who has shifted, he/she will want to protect it and themselves…requiring him/her to speak up…to defend him/herself where once his/her voice would have remained silent.

When this happens, speaking up, there will be push-back from those you confront. Expect it and prepare for it…but don’t fear it. You will know what to say in the moment, and this too will surprise, because you may feel as though someone else is speaking through your mouth. What you say may be so profound that you need a few days to comprehend all that your mouth spoke. 

And, because you are on such unfamiliar ground (speaking up with power and authority where once you would have been silent), you may find yourself questioning your sanity or process or purpose or reason. This is understandable. Behavioral shifts can initially be difficult because we are moving into unfamiliar territory…so unfamiliar that it often evokes responses, not only within us but within those closest to us, in addition to those we challenge.

This is where self-empathy comes in and creates a beautiful, safe harbor for us and our emotions. If you are unfamiliar with the concept of self-empathy, I invite you to locate a non-violent practice group or class in your community and attend for a few weeks. This practice of self-empathy is one of the most beautifully empowering practices non-violent communication teaches…and probably the most uncomfortable one, because it requires inner attention.

To offer yourself empathy is to meet your need for yourself by yourself. If you have a need to be heard, for example, self-empathy would invite you to listen yourself fully and completely until that desire to be heard is sated. This could be done by making a movie, journalling, playing or writing music, or going into meditation…all solitary activities. If you have a need to be respected, begin by respecting yourself and your boundaries…standing up for yourself without apology, and finding that place within your Divine Line where that need has been met…again solitarily. If you have a need for an apology, apologize to yourself…say the words to yourself that you need to hear, releasing the demand that another person say them to you.

Keep working through your emotional needs until you have fully met them, always from a place of love without judgement…only acceptance for all that you are. You will know when you are complete, for you will relax physically…soften the body and facial expressions…and your mind will clear. Only now will you be able to see options in the situation or hear other perspectives and experiences. Only now are you empowered to continue moving forward despite those who seem to stand in your way. Only now can you see that your intolerance is a way of modeling right energy to those who still need information. Only now can you see that you have graduated to teacher, no longer the student…a light that shines unwaveringly through the darkest storm…a beacon of hope that a shift to a life of love is no longer simply a dream…it is becoming a reality.

And so it is.