When I asked my guides what information was needed for this day, I was shown the number thirteen…the number of this calendar year…a number steeped in mystery and fear…and transformation.
Transformation is a mystical process…something not understood, and therefore often feared. Transformation requires a death in order to produce life. And yet, transformation isn’t a process of simply death and then birth…it’s a process of death and birth…simultaneously. In short, transformation means change, and most people try to avoid change as much as possible.
The most powerful image associated with death and rebirth is that of a woman giving birth. During a natural childbirth, a woman experiences life as close to death as possible without actually crossing over. Through this process, she is changed forever…she becomes a mother…an empowered being…a fully aware woman.
It is understandable then why the number thirteen, the number of the Sacred Feminine, has inherited so many negative connotations. Such experiences are extremely uncomfortable, and one is forever changed afterwards. There is no going back…no pretending such an experience didn’t happen. There is a lot of unknown in transformation and very little control of the outcome. The only option is complete and utter surrender to the process and its power.
For many hundreds of years, this Sacred Feminine power has been shunned as being evil…dangerous…cursed…unlucky. As a result, the number too has been associated with these same qualities. Unknowingly, this attitude has resulted in punishment of the Feminine…not only of women and all qualities of femininity, but also punishment of the balance of the femininity and masculinity within each person and each relationship. Leroy Jackson, in speaking to his wife in The Help, describes this attitude perfectly:
If I didn’t hit you, Minny, who knows what you’d become.
So, as this thirteenth day of January in the year 2013 comes to a close, I invite you to begin an inventory…to notice…to pay attention…become aware of all of the ways you hit your feminine self…discover all those feminine qualities that bring up fear and discomfort. Then I invite you to sit with those injured parts of you and really ask yourself this question:
If I didn’t hit you, what could you become?
And so it is.